Cattiness is an epidemic in the mom blogging community.

Over the past week I’ve read more about the WSJ and their obvious misunderstanding of what Mom Bloggers do at conferences (and at home, apparently,) than I have read about the mom blogger lifestyle in a very long time. I also read a lot of angry blog posts from the band of bloggers who rightfully came to the defense of our reputation. This was a big deal, and for a moment it made me forget where the true enemy of Mom Blogger’s are, right in our own communities.

This might sound overdramatic to some, and I would like to say that not every blogger relationship is based on personal gain. I have met amazing people during my time as a mom blogger, and they’ve become my best friends–so a quick shout out to Cheryl and Jenna.

There are many mom blogger communities on the web, and a lot of them are great. A few actually foster and help blogs grow, like Momdot and BlogFriendlyPR, but a large majority of them harbor drama and backstabbing. Since when is this what we, as mom bloggers, are about? When do we only band together when a major publication has something negative to say? What is there to gain by putting on a false front about how we really treat each other?

I cannot go a week without hearing about blog drama. Most of it is petty and entitled bullshit that makes us all look like a group of jealous teenagers. In a lot of ways blogging has been corrupted by all of the opportunities we’ve been given through PR and brands. Let’s not beat it around the bush, a lot of people started blogging to get free stuff…and you can tell. This is where all the drama kicks in, people get pissed when they’re turned down to review a vacuum cleaner and they will publicly belittle another blogger, and say things like: “I can’t believe they got that review opp, they don’t have half the traffic I do and their design is horrendous.” blah blah blah, entitled crap.

Doesn’t it make sense? There are good bloggers and bad bloggers, and as long as we have those among us who act like children we will never be seen as professionals, like most of us strive to be. I can give you a large list of bloggers who work hard, write amazingly well, act professionally, and see their blog as their career. The sad part is I can make a list twice as long of bloggers who are the polar opposite. But what about the cattiness you speak of, Nina?

The biggest letdown in the blogging community I’ve seen is the never ending jealousy, and cattiness that follows when bloggers don’t get what they want. What do they do after that? Do they work harder and try to better their blog and online presence? Nope. They get defensive, let everyone on their Facebook feed know how much they dislike these bloggers who got what they deserved. It is insane. Why do these bloggers do this?

Everyone has different levels at which their blog stands, and everyone has their niche and topics they excel at. Why don’t we try to focus on our own personal good instead of attacking others based on their level of success. Not every blogger is the insanely jealous and envious type. And not every successful blogger is the brag and in-your-face type. For example, ever since I started blogging in 2009 and joined the MomDot community I have been an admirer of Trisha. That might sound a little creepy (sorry, Trisha, but you’re hot as hell 😉 ) but she has always given me something to strive towards, and her example in the blogging community is powerful. What we as bloggers need to realize is it is okay to look up to another blogger. As newbies we don’t always know what to do or how to act, but plain human decency should never be questioned.

This might be harsh, but you don’t deserve anything you haven’t worked hard for and earned. Neither do I. Nor does any other blogger. We need to knock off the entitled “better than you” crap.

As a blogger who has seen both sides, and has worked with tons of brands. I would give up all of the sponsored opportunities to be influential in my niche. Have an opinion, you will stand out against the wall of sponsored post blogs…which I am guilty of as well.

At the end of the day, why don’t we start respecting each other and leave the High School Drama in the past where it belongs. That way, the next time the WSJ wants to write about the events we attend, we can be a few steps closer to being seen as professionals. Because professionals don’t get questioned about their business trips, right?

4 comments on “Forget about WSJ, what about Mommy Blogger to Mommy Blogger cattiness?”

  1. I love you, Nina!

    Seriously, I agree with you. I also love and appreciate Trisha from MomDot, and I admire the work she has put into her career, and all the help I’ve gotten from her. Without her site, I may not be blogging at all. I should also add that without Rachel from Small Steps On Our Journey, I would not have known anything about MomDot, so thank you, Rachel!

    I see myself as a newbie blogger who has much to learn. I have professional goals for myself, I want an ambassadorship, I want to attend a blog conference, I want more sponsored posts, I want to review more items/products and I want to conduct more book reviews. None of this will happen without a lot of work on my part. I’m not entitled to any of it!

  2. We live in interesting times with the convergence of personal lives with public/professional personas – I think over the next ten years, as people learn to navigate this huge shift in culture, we’ll see less heated debates of this type – not just in blogging, but everywhere. I think we’re coming in to a generation where every young person will have their “15 minutes of infamy” and know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of a bad PR frenzy/rude comments from others. A lot of this is human nature so it won’t ever fully go away, but I do really think that the young people growing up in this climate will have more slightly boundaries as to what they discuss (Or diss) online as the social rules will be better established. If that makes sense? I think because it’s all so new, it’s easy for people to get worked into a frenzy directed at other people.

  3. I get so tired of the cattiness too – and the jealousy. I think the bloggers who may not be getting the bigger opps need to take a good look at their blogs and what they could be doing differently. We should all be proud of each other and stand together too!

  4. Great post. I too can’t stand, nor do I understand for that matter the cattiness. I actually totally missed this one as this occurred smack dab in the middle of my move to Italy when I was pretty much off line.

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